Manassas Journal Messenger | Be it resolved . . .

Prince William Board of County Supervisors Chairman Sean Connaughton has called for the observance of “Kcaj Snave Day” in honor of the same D.C. councilmen who insulted the people of Virginia when they voiced opposition to a commuter tax. “Kcaj Snave” is not Pig Latin, but Councilman Jack Evans’ name spelt backward, considering the fact that we “backward” Virginians don’t know better.

The Board of County Supervisors will soon consider a resolution opposing the idea of Washington, D.C., imposing an income tax on those Virginians who work in the District.

Just for good measure, we have also included a resolution on the matter. Here it is:

WHEREAS, Washington, D.C., Councilman Jack Evans has described Virginians as “backward” and “narrow-minded” for their reluctance to hand over part of their pay checks earned while working in the District; and

WHEREAS, the Prince William and Manassas area provide at least 17,000 skilled workers who keep the federal government and its contractors running; and

WHEREAS, Prince William and Manassas area residents have a fine reputation for keeping their state and local governments in check when it comes to spending tax dollars as seen in organized resistance to the likes of a meals taxes and sales tax increases; and

WHEREAS, the Virginia suburbs manage to fund their schools and public services despite a federal government mandate requiring most federal agencies be based in the District; and

WHEREAS, the National Capital Revitalization and Self Government Act of 1997 gave the District $200 million in debt relief, took back $5 billion in unfunded pension liability and took over Medicaid, courts and prisons from the District; and

WHEREAS, not a week goes by without the revelation of some sort of financial mismanagement in the District where its taxpayers are bilked out of millions of dollars; and

WHEREAS, the District’s attempt to overturn a ban on a commuter tax would divert anywhere between $500 million and $1.4 billion from Virginia and Maryland; and

WHEREAS, if that money is taken away from Virginia and Maryland taxpayers it would truly be “Taxation Without Representation”; and

WHEREAS, giving the District access to more money is like giving an alcoholic the key to the liquor cabinet and might only invite a greater proportion of mismanagement; and

WHEREAS, “backward” and “narrow-minded” Virginians already pick up part of the tab for D.C.’s spending through the surrendering of federal income taxes; and

NOW THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that the “backward” and “narrow-minded” people of Prince William, Manassas and Manassas Park should expect such remarks from a Frenchman rather than a public official from a nearby jurisdiction, and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that if running local governments with exceptional self sufficiency and balanced budgets is “backward” and “narrow-minded”, according to a certain D.C. councilman, then we consider the remarks as a compliment and in the same context would never refer to the District in those same terms.